Fear

Sweet Baby goes in Friday for his eye exam. Hopefully we will be able to get a measurement so we can schedule his surgery. Even as I’m typing this now there is mixed feelings. On this cool, quite morning my heart is filled with fear and doubt. It’s so filled with fear I struggle to take my next breathe. The thought of Sweet Baby having surgery scares me. I’m afraid of the uncertainty. What if he has a bad reaction? What if he doesn’t wake up? What if he wakes up during surgery? You hear all those horror stories of ppl being awake for their surgery.
What if I’m not the first person he sees when he wakes up? It will be all so new & scary. I had surgery just a few months ago and I was scared. It will be the longest hour of my life. My heart is filled this morning with so much fear it hurts. He is my precious baby boy and the thing that hurts the most; that scares me the most is, I’m his mom and I can’t do a single thing to fix any of this.

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